I went to the grocery store last week...bought $220 worth of groceries for $108. The freezer if full of roasts, chicken, pork chops. That is not the problem. I have had the opportunity to make dinner. Time is not the problem. The problem is that instead of waiting until we get home and cooking, I have been constantly eating out!!! I know I need to stop. But it is so much easier to pull through a drive through. I know it isn't healthy(either for us or for the budget) but I am weak and it is something I need to overcome. Any suggestions...that really work??? If I were to leave my debit card and check book at home, what options would I have for something that I need to get. If I plan ahead, than I will know I need them, but my concern is for the something I either forgot we needed or didn't know we needed. I would imagine that a few times of forgetting, having to drive home, and then go back out again(we are 10 miles from town) would be enough to make me plan ahead. That might be the way to go. I will have to consider that.

Ideas?? Suggestions???

I know I have been gone a while, but I wanted to give an update. I have so much going on! It is crazy this time of the year.

I am excited about January. If I stick to the budget I have, it will be the last month that I have to have my parents help financially. I hope it works out and there aren't too many surprises.

DH and I are still seperated. I actually served him with divorce papers and went and had them signed. But then he begged me not to file them yet...to not give up on what we have. And since then he has been a different person...until last night. He couldn't get ahold of me while my daughter was looking for me. It was no big deal, but he almost reverted back to his old self. That is why I haven't asked him to move back in.

I think I have Christmas covered. I just hope that I can get the phone my daughter wants in time. Keep your fingers crossed.

I am definately in an "up" mood today. The gym where my daughter goes to cheerleading sent out an email today about one of the families that is in need. They aren't going to have a Christmas. The gym was asking for donations so they could have a Christmas. I immediately started working on my budget and am able to contribute $79 for the competition fees that are due at the end of the month. The girls said it was okay that they wouldn't have Christemas as long as they got to cheer. I feel really good about being able to do that. I am going to talk to my DD to see about contributing half out of her allowance.

COuponing is still going good. I bought $220 of groceries for $108. That was great! I have my list for this week and it is nice to be able to choose the stuff I need because we are pretty well stocked up on other stuff.

Well, financially things are looking okay until the end of December, including Christmas presents. Lets just hope it works out that way!

I got the divorce papers signed but DH begged me not to file them yet. He isn't ready to throw everything away. It may have been a wake up call for him because he is totally different now. I was telling him divorce but until he saw the papers, I don't think it hit him. I still don't want him to move back in for a while. I am enjoying being by myself. And it hasn't been long enough to know if he has changed for good or not.

Yesterday was my birthday. My sweet daughter cleaned their bathroom. I had it on my list of things to do(Longterm) and I was going to do it yesterday. She wouldn't let me. She did it. Even to my sort of clean, using a butter knife where the cabinets meet the floor and stuff. It looks great! She is so good to me!

DS had his wisdom teeth taken out Friday. He is still in pain. But itwas very entertaining getting him home while the laughing gas was still in his system!

I haven't been in a blogging mood lately, but I am still around. With the help of my DH, I overdrew my account last week. There was $250 in NSF fees plus the $100 he had spent. I got the bank to refund all but one of the fees and disabled his access to the account. But I had to take a cash advance on the CC that I had made so much progress on just to get back in the positive! Very frustrating, but I am glad that I had a way to solve the situation. It is not the best idea, but at least it eased some of my stress.

All household bills are on time now. My parents are helping me keep it that way. Hopefully, I won't need their help after the first of the year.

I screwed myself on taxes this year. I worked so much OT that I kicked myself into the next tax bracket and will only get a minimal amount of the EIC. Bummer. I was looking forward to a huge refund, but will barely get one at all. At least I don't have to pay!

DH signed the papers yesterday but then he begged me not to file for a while. He is really heartbroken and doesn't want to throw everything away. I don't like being in that position. Counseling didn't work. But maybe the fact that he actually saw the papers may wake him up. Who knows.

I haven't been doing my coupons, but I haven't been shopping at all either. So I need to do some shopping tomorrow.

I just haven't been much in a blogging mood lately. DH and I went to counseling and it didn't seem to do much good. We are seperated, but he wants to act like we aren't. He wants to come home and I don't want him to.

Anyway, financially, I have gotten one of my credit cards down to half of the original balance. I have made $100 payments the last two months. Hopefully I will be able to make quick work of that after the first of the year. Then snowball the rest of them.

All of the utilities are paid on time. No danger of any disconnections. Feels good, but there is still this worry with Christmas coming up.

My weekend started off good...went to see COuples Retreat...hilarious by the way. But then DH and I stayed up talking until 3 am. Then we talked more on Saturday. I don't feel anything was resolved. We spoke again last night...still no resolution. He refuses to see things my way and while I understand his feelings, I don't think they are justified. He suggested getting counseling. I am going to look for a pastor that will counsel us. But I am not sure that it will work. He has such different ideas about marriage.

On the financial front, everything still looks good and strong. Even have money in the budget for Christmas. We will see how everything plays out though.

I am feeling so much better...it is just amazing. I didn't realize what a weight I had on my shoulders. I actually put make up on this morning and perfume! I am feeling so good about myself right now it is amazing. I am going to get my nails done today...I know I shouldn't but I need to do something for myself.

One thing that has come back with the old me is the eating out. I have got to put a stop to that. I have the groceries. Need to get back in the habit of eating at home. Need to reaquaint myself with the crock pot!

Other than that, the finances look good. Going to start planning for Christmas here shortly.

Almost forgot....got 8 bottles of shampoo/conditioner(Herbal Essence) for .26 yesterday at Rite Aid! I love that store!

Well, I just made Octobers house payment, with $25 extra going to principle. It is the first late one in a while. But now it is caught up and Novembers is already worked into the budget. I just looked at the budget and things are looking pretty good...with the money my parents are giving me and if Icontinue to get overtime. I should have everything paid off sooner than expected. After the first of the year, I should be able to put everything they give me toward debt. That will take no time at all to pay off the cards! I can't wait.

I got my bedroom cleaned up Sunday and finished it yesterday. It was such a wreck. I just had given up. But it is like this gloom cloud has been lifted and I am back...trying to make a nice home for me and the kids. All the laundry is done and folded, with the exception of a load of towels that needs to be folded. It is the first time in a long time that we haven't had to go on a hunt for clean towels! Now I can start on the bathroom. It won't take long, just a bunch of junk to be picked up. I did the kitchen on Sunday as well. But it usually stayed pretty clean.

Anyway, things are looking up. Like I said, the gloom and doom cloud that was over the house has been lifted. THings are lighter and more enjoyable now.

I told my parents last night. They weren't shocked. My mom's concern that she doesn't want me to have to burn a fire in the fireplace. Do we have enough oil?

This morning I got an email from her. Her and my father had discussed the situation. They would each like to give me $200 a month for 6 months to help out. I tried to reject it for a while, but then I gave in. Because although everything is paid and current, there is no room for extras or surprises...like school pictures or lunches, etc. So the first $400 is to pay of my property taxes from last year and the rest is for the rest of the month. WHile this is relief, I am kind of disappointed that I am no longer independent.

Told the kids last night about DH moving out. They took it well. So well in fact that DH left in tears because he felt that no one was going to miss him. That they acted like they could care less if he was there or not. BOth of the kids have been through this before, so they tend to keep their guard up and not show their emotions. It was hard to not try to fix it for him. To make him feel better.

Good news is that I have two credit cards that will be paid off within the next 2-3 months. The Cap One has about 3 more payments and the Orchard card will be at $241 as of the 15th of this month. I have made $100 payments on it last month and this month. Can't wait to get this stuff paid off!

I haven't been blogging too much. So much has been going on. DH moved out yesterday morning. Although it was what I wanted, it still was not easy. Now the doubt sets in...did I do the right thing...although I know I did. Financially, I will be better off. Last week alone, he used almost $100 of my money for gas. Not sure where his money went and he couldn't tell me. He felt like I was acting like this because I make more money than him. But I used to make what he made and I was able to keep my household running as a single mom. Anyway...today is my first day as a single mom again.

I realized that the people I have in my life are very good to me. My boss has been the most encouraging to me. I knew he was a great guy, but it has just been proven again. I told him everything that was going on, with my diagnosis and dh. He was very encouraging. I also asked him on Friday to consider giving me a long term loan to get out of the deficit that was coming up. I said I don't need an answer right now, but he said, I have thought about it and my answer is yes. No hesitation. He gave me a big hug...not a fake one, but a hold on tight one. I am really blessed. I haven't told my family yet that Chris moved out. I know they will be supportive, but my parents are from that "death til you part" generation no matter what. So they will be disappointed, but they will still support me.

With the loan from work, I was able to get everything caught up, even the cell phone bill. So everything is current. I am making progress on my credit cards, although not as much as I would like. We have groceries so we are fine.

I haven't told the kids yet, they are at their dad's this weekend. DD will have the hardest time. She was really close to him. So that will be another hard day.

But I am starting to get the house cleaned up and get back to myself and the way we used to live. Have a lot to do, but will do it one step at a time.

I haven't been in a blogging mood lately, so I took some time off from blogging. There is nothing really new in my finances. I am still looking at a pretty large deficit at the end of the month. I am sure it will all work out. But then there is Christmas...Still don't know how I am going to take care of that! WIll be very slim, that is for sure!

The week-long conference that I planned for my employer started yesterday. So far it is going smoothly. I didn't get home until 10:30 last night! UGHH!!

My son is having a severe asthma attack. He went to the doctor yesterday and got some steroids. I have an appointment on Friday to have his allergies to dogs and cats tested. We have gone overboard on the animals and I am hoping that he is allergic to at least dogs!(isn't that horrible!) I would like to find the dogs that we have(3) a good home. I wouldn't do anything else, even if they had to stay outside all the time. We have 3 cats and 3 dogs...time for something to give. And I have figured out that I am definately a cat person!

Well, that is about all I have to report. I haven't done any shopping in a while. I plan on getting at least tide this week, it is on sale and I have several $1 off coupons. Not sure what else I will be getting.

I went to Rite Aid and got $56 worth of stuff for $7...and they will also send me a check for the rebates for $6. So really, it was $1. YEA!!! I also went to CVS and got 3 bottles of dove soap for $11. It was not as good of a deal at rite aid, but still worth doing.

The budget looks depressing for the next couple of weeks. But hopefully things will work out. They always seem to.

However, I did make it out of the house today! But I am feeling financially and emotionally drained. Financially because I see a huge deficit coming on the 6th of November. Not quite sure how I am going to deal with that yet. Emotionally because my DH is still there! We had an argument on Saturday and I told him that I wanted him to leave. But he continued to argue and nothing was resolved. I told him that I was not going to continue to be called a liar and made to feel like I am doing something wrong, when I am not. When I went to get tires, and had to get brakes too, he asked how much they charged me for the brakes. I told him and he said "that is why you should want me to go to the tire store with you. It is my job as your husband to make sure you don't get screwed. I could have done them at home for $20." To which I responded, how long have I been telling you that I needed brakes? Goes back to not being able to depend on you.

Anyway...It will work itself out I am sure. I think I am just going to have to get forceful and tell him that I can't do it anymore. He looked at me last night and told me that he needed some ankle guards...as if I am supposed to get them for him. I financially can't support him. It would be different if all of his money went into the pot to be drawn from, but none of his money goes into the pot. So frustrating.

Done ranting...thanks for reading.

When I was getting the tires this morning, they told me that the brake pads were just about to the rotors. I knew the brakes were bad, but had been putting them off as well. So I went ahead and had the front and back brakes done. I fortunately have the money to cover them, but will make the next payday harder. Oh well... at least we are in a safe vehicle now. All I need is an oil change and everything will be up to date on it.

I made an extra $75 payment to my credit card today. I know some of you will say that I should have used that toward the tires, but I have not been able to make extra payments on this card for months...and I had planned on the extra payment anyway. I am not doing something frivilous(like getting my nails done which I would love to do) so i feel like my parents wouldn't mind. That makes a total of $100 paid to that credit card this month. It has a credit limit of $500 and the balance after the $100 is $331. I haven't used this card in forever and just making the minimums is getting me nowhere!!! I didn't even activate the new card when it arrived.

I have $255 left of my paycheck for the next two weeks after I pay everything. I need to get some groceries, but given my new shopping habits, I won't spend much. I have already deducted for gas so I should be in good shape.

Well...I couldn't find any tires. My mom called me last night and told me that they would buy me the 4 tires. I am not happy about it. Then I found out today that they had to pay my sisters power bill because it had been cut off. Long story, but she is a hypocondriac nurse...the worst combination possible. She is on disablity right now because she had carpral tunnel surgery. But she has never managed her money well. She also asked my parents to put hearing aids on their credit card a few years ago, which she never paid for and I don't think she uses. We are probably goiong to have to move her real soon as she is probably going to lose her condo(the third house she has been foreclosed on). So once I found out they had to pay her power bill, I told my mom that I was going to wait on the tires. That I just have to believe that things are going to be okay. She pulled the mom/grandma card again. She said that I don't have a choice. They are getting them because I tote their "favorite spoiled granddaughter" around. I feel really bad about taking the money for the tires. But I am not sure what else to do. I am really nervous on the ones I have and it would bring some peace of mind.

In other news...I think DH may be moving out. He has threatened it several times over the last few months. But this time I think I finally have the courage to tell him that he needs to. He rarely contributes financially and he expects me to take care of his debts with no additional income. I can't depend on him to do things that need to be done. And I am tired of being told I am a liar. He constantly tries to make feel like I am doing something wrong because I don't tell him every stop during the day. For instance...Saturday morning, DD had to be in a parade. We had to be there at 9:30. at 7:45 my ex husband sent me a text asking if I could meet him in the next town to pick up the banners for the float. I knew nothing about the banners, had no idea he was even doing the banners. The cheer coach had been talking to him directly. So we met him and still managed to make it to the parade. But because I forgot to tell him that we went to meet him, I am hiding things. And I am lying about knowing that ex was doing the banners...He said that he asked me several times to see what I would say. I honestly forgot that I went to meet him. When we were there, we got donuts at Kroger. Since we don't have a kroger, I wouldn't have left the donut boxes on the counter if I was trying to hide that I went! I feel like I am a child who is supposed to report my every movement. He has a real problem with plans changing. he doesn't adapt well. Anyone with kids knows that plans constantly change!!!

Anyway...sorry to rant. Just feeling kind of blue still.

The search is on for 235/70/16 tires. I need four of them. I am looking for used ones that are in good condition. I have called 4 places so far and they have no used ones...well one place had 3 used ones and only 2 were in good condition. All of the places are happy to sell me new ones, for $100 a piece. UGGGG!!! I am in such desperate need of tires. My parents told me last week that they would buy me two tires. I initally refused their offer. I hate accepting stuff from them anymore! But my mom played the mom card and told me that they were getting them because I cart their grand-daughter around so much after dark that they don't want me(and her) stuck on the side of the road somewhere. But come to find out that you can't put just two tires on a 4 wheel drive vehicle...according to my DH. I am not sure about that, but am willing to go with it because honestly, I don't know which two of the tires that are on the truck right now could be kept! So we are looking at $400 for a set of tires! Double UGGGGG!!! I have been in contact with my mom letting her know all of this. She said that she is going to talk to my dad tonight to see what he thinks. I could pay for the other two tires on Friday, but then that would make the next pay period hell...like not even able to make my debts! So I am not sure what to do.

And I have been so slammed at work! We have a conference coming up in November that I am in charge of planning. Getting the materials and making arrangements and dinner reservations and....I am losing my mind!! I have screwed up two things this week...not having enough books to send next week and not sending the cd's off in time to have them copied for next week. These don't sound like huge things, but to my boss, they are.

I am completely empty of motivation today. I just want to go back to bed. I haven't been like this in a about a week. But I figured out why, I think. I have been so consumed with taking my new medication that I forgot to take my thyrod medication the last two nights. And it doesn't help that my littlest dog has taken to yipping in the middle of the night...all night. The first night, I thought she needed to go to the bathroom or something, so I let her out and she just ran around the living room! Very frustrating! And of course, DH hears her, but doesn't do anything! I have to get up and put her in the bathroom, which sstill doesn't block it completely! I have got to get some good sleep tonight! I have got so much I need to do at work today it isn't even funny!

Financially, not much has changed. But it looks like I will be back on track by the end of November. So although I had to push my mortgage payment back this month, I won't have to push next months back. I have tried to plan for everything, dr appt, prescriptions, yearbooks. Crap..forgot about cheer competition. Need to allow for that. But should still be in pretty good shape.

I haven't been able to feed my coupon/sale shopping addiction. It is driving me crazy! There are so many things free at rite aid this week...nothing I NEED>..but stuff I will need as the cold season approaches. And getting it free sure beats having to pay for it!

I have noticed that since I have been sale/coupon shopping I save more money with the sales items. It isn't the coupons that saves all the money. BUt I have also noticed that I have failed to keep items in the house that we usually like to have on hand...like sour cream...nacho chips...etc. So I will have to do a better job of balancing my list.

Just when I start to get things straight...looking at my budget for this payday and it doesn't look pretty. I have to get propane for heat and I am in desperate need of new tires. My parents said that they would pay for 2 new tires, but since my car is 4 wheel drive, I can't put just two tires on it. But my DH suggested last night that he take the tires off of his truck and put them on my explorer. His are almost new. Then he knows someone who has 4 tires that still have about 70% of the tread on them for $125 that he could put on his truck. So for $175(the tires plus having them put on the rims) I think the tire issue is solved...and my parents will pay for that. But since I still have to get propane, I think I am going to have to put the mortage off until next payday. That stinks! I have done really well at keeping it on time. I am really disapointed. DH hasn't been working because of the rain(not that he helps me much anyways). So I am not quite sure what I am going to do.

I set up an automatic payment for my cell phone bill to come out of the secondary account, that we never use. I was supposed to go in and change the date on it, but forgot. So that payment will be coming out of that account in the next couple of days and I don't have the money to cover it. At least there isn't anything else pending on that account so I will only be charged with one fee.

The doctor that I saw last week was supposed to hold my check until this Friday...they do that for patients. Small town. Anyway, they didn't. It cleared my bank on Friday. So that is more money that I need to come up with to put into my primary account...I am not sure how I ended up needing $200 for this account, but I did. And I am not sure where to get that from! I will be charged a massive amount of fees though if I don't come up with it. "mom...dad...I need some more help!" I hate going to them!

I broke down and turned the heat on last night. We left the fire burning, but I was afraid that it would get really cold before morning. SO I turned the heat on but I turned it on to 60. It tried to come on this morning but DH caught it as he was building a fire. I don't know if it ran at all last night. I turned it on 60 when we left just in case so we wouldn't come home to a freezing house. But the automatic thermostat that saves us so much money hit the next setting and went up to 68. So it probaby ran while we were gone. Drats! I built a fire as soon as we got home.

Went to Food Lion last night. Did pretty good. Also went to Rite Aid. There is nothing on sale this week that I need or that is an especially good deal(at least not for things I need.) So I won't make an effort to get by there. Maybe when the food lion sales come out, I will find something.

DD had a parade this morning for the comp cheer team and a game for the middle school team. It was freezing! 46 degrees! I was completely wrapped up in blankets. My own daughter didn't recognize me because I was so bundled up!!

I have to go now...have to track down a 16 year old who called into work today and hasn't called me since last night!

We still have managed to not turn on the heat, but that might change this weekend. It is supposed to be in the 30's Saturday morning and the high is only 46!!! But we will build a fire and try to resist...especially because we need propane and I don't have the money for it! we are at 25%,, which will last a long time without turning the heat on. If we turn the heat on, it will last about 2 weeks!!! But we have lots of firewood ready to burn.

My daughter need jeans desperately since it is rapidly getting cold around here. The last time we got jeans, I took her to the consignment shop down the street that has really nice stuff. They are very picky about what they accept. The other option is to use the credit card that I have been trying to pay off, which has about $70 available on it, to get her two pair of jeans. What would you do?

I borrowed the money from my mom to get her some jeans at the consignment store. I could have used the CC but would have spent more for the same jeans. I am not discplined enough to pay it off next week when I get paid, but I will pay my mom back. So i think I made the wise decision, although I hate borrowing money!

I hadn't stocked up on cat food and I forgot that I used it all last night. So at 9:15 I get a text(yes, I was still out at Violin lessons) to get cat food. By that time, the only place open was a convenience store. So I cursed myself and paid the huge price for a small bag of no-name brand cat food. But when I got home and opened the bag....it had cobwebs in it! yea...it was gross. And then bugs flew out of it! So I had to load up in the car and drive the 4 miles back to the convenience store to swap the cat food! So not only did I get ripped on the price, but it cost me in gas to go back and swap it! Poor planning strikes again!!!

Well, we have resisted the urge to turn the heat on...but we have had about 3 fires to take the chill off. It really makes it nice!

Tahoe, our recent feline addition(someone left him at the foot of our driveway!!) thought he wanted to go outside...was out there about 1 minute and decided he wanted back in...he doesn't like the rain! It is supposed to rain all day. YUCK! The other two cats are stretched out on the couch probably wondering why we are all home today.

I have a dr appt at 2:00 to see about getting my medication adjusted. It just doesn't seem to be working. I quit taking all of my non-prescription pills, thinking that my be affecting me. I know they aren't suppossed to, but I react wierd to stuff...I mean who is allergic to benadryl???? Me thats who!

I have resisted the sales this week. I have been looking, but haven't done it. My fear is that if I resist and don't go this week that I will get out of the habit of doing it. I hope not. I really enjoy it.

I just checked my credit score on creditkarma.com. It has come up 50 points since July! That is about how long I have been able to pay everything on time! That is impressive. I don't know how accurate that is, but it sure makes me feel better!

Today was a sleep late day. I slept until 10:00. It felt good. My ds has a soccer game at 2:00...at home. So that is good.

Not much happening financially. I have still resisted the urge to go to Food Lion. Lets hope I can hold out the rest of the week!

Today is payday. Everything is set up in my bill pay so the only thing I had to do was stop to pay for the po box.

I was thinking about the goals I posted at the beginning of the year and am feeling blue because I haven't accomplished hardly any of them! My main thing was paying of credit cards...and I haven't done that...not a one. So next year, I will have to focus more to get that goal taken care of. I know the year isn't over, but I don't see that changing in the next couple of months.

I am also feeling blue because although it is payday, I am broke! I feel like I am getting no whereeven though most of the bills are current(minus the cell phone). I desperately need new tires, but I can't get them worked into the budget. Every time I drive to work I wonder if today is the day one of the tires will blow out. I just don't know what to do.

I have an appointment Monday to see about adjusting my meds. I just can't seem to get out of bed...well, I get out of bed to take the kids to school and almost fall asleep on the way! So I come home and sleep for another couple of hours before I head to work...if I even leave the house at all. I am also in extreme pain again from the endometriosis. Woke up several times last night. Hopefully they will figure something out.

I requested my rite aid gift certificate today. I have spent $100 and an am elgible for the max certificate, $20. Best part is that I actually only spent $59! The $100 is figured before coupons and discounts. That is awesome! I think Rite Aid has become my favorite store over CVS.

Just looking over my budget. It looks glim. But I am still able to see the light at the end of the tunnel! I always see the light though but I am never able to actually get there! Maybe I can get there this time!

Like I said, I have become addicted to couponing. I have printed out my Food Lion list. But I am trying to resist. There is nothing on that list that I NEED. And the stuff that is on sale will be on sale again. But there are some good deals. I have the money to shop this week, but next payday will be really tight, so I should really save what I would spend. But I can't help it! I get this thought in my head and it won't go away until I do whatever it is. But I am trying to resist.

I am looking over my finances for the next couple of weeks. I am going to be broke...but everything will be paid on time!!! The power bill...the dish bill...the car payment...everything except for our cell phone bill. I haven't looked ahead to the end of the month in detail yet...but I am sure it will be depressing.

But...we have a houseful of groceries! I truly believe that I have become addicted to shopping with coupons. Although I don't have the money for shopping, I always find it. It just feels good to save money. We have the greatest variety of food in the house that we have ever had! And I am turning down items that I don't think are a great bargain(Lysol cleaner on sale...had coupon...but still over $2 so I didn't get it!)

I also think I am going through a depression...I find it difficult to leave the house in the morning. It doesn't help that I have the type of job where I can work from home and no one monitors me! I get my work done, but not during traditional hours usually. I take the kids to school and come back home to sleep for a couple of hours. If I go straight to work, I have to literally keep myself awake by rolling down the windows. Then at night, I can't fall asleep, despite the sleeping medicine the doctor prescribed. I have an appointment Monday to see about adjusting my medication.