That is how much money I will have in my account come payday on Friday morning. By the end of the day, I will have $56 in my account(of course my spending allowance and fuel allowance will be in the account, but I deduct that from the balance since it is already accounted for.) I am paying my son back the $400 I owe him from various loans. I am making my $ 100 debt payment to chadwicks. I have the minimum payment on one of the other credit cards due as well as all the first of the month expenses. So I am actually paying alot, just wish I wasn't broke all the time!

On the plus side, after Friday's payment to Chadwicks, I will only have one more payment to them and it will be paid off! I am so excited!

My sister's are each going to contribute to my daughter's cheerleading so that will help with the payment due next month. Plus we are doing a collection drive which will go toward the payment as well.

My budget is set through August and I only run into problems on the 6th of August. I am about $550 short for that pay day. But if my sister's each give me $100 and there is $80 that just stays in the account, I will only be about $270 short. That is easier to come up with. Hopefully there won't be any surprises that come up. I have accounted for $300 for school clothes. I may have to take that out. My mom has bought each of the kids some clothes so it's not like they didn't get anything new. And then we can go shopping later when it is better for me.

I went to my therapist this morning. I really like her. We were working on self esteem today. I need it. But I have been taking a weight lost suplement for almost 2 months now. According to my scale at home, I have lost roughly 15 pounds. My scale is not very accurate though, as I could get on it six times and have six different numbers, but they are all usually around the same numbert. But when I put a 5# bag of flour on it, it was accurate. So anyway, the scale at home shows 15 plus or minus a pound or two. I was curious so I weighed myself at the doctors office this morning. According to that scale, I haven't lost even one pound! How can that be? How can my scale at home be completely 15#'s off? I am so disappointed. I knew my clothes hadn't been fitting any different...well I actually thought my jeans were a little loser, not in the waist but in the thigh and butt area. Apparently not. Now I am not sure what to do...that isn't true. I know what I need to do, I am just not able to force myself to do it. It is a horrible circle...I am so overweight that I feel hopeless which makes me not want to count calories or exercise or anything which in turn makes me feel hopeless. I can't get excited about planning my meals and feeling good about them. No food sounds good or appetizing. I just don't want to eat anything.

Financially, I borrowed $150 from my son's account to get me through until Friday. I will then pay him back when I get paid. Might go see the new Twilight at midnight tonight at the drive in. Haven't decided yet. I know I don't need to spend that money, but I need to do something to lighten my spirits and a trip to the drive in is a lot cheaper than the regular movie theater.

I did it to myself. I had money set aside for gas. However, I went to the grocery store and spent $47. I only had 3 bags of groceries!! I couldn't believe it! I did get three meat items for dinners this week. I have 3/4 tank of gas, but I have to drive to Calhoun on Monday and possibly Tuesday. So the $30 I have left will have to go to gas. I just hope it will be enough. I do have $30 in my savings account and $40 in the kids savings accounts, but I really don't want to have to dig into them.

We did a fundraiser today for cheer. It was a motorcycle poker run. We only had 2 people do it! And they were parents of a cheerleader! We made a whopping $40. Split between 7 people! But last night we had a poker game and we made $360, which comes to about $70 per cheerleader. Every little bit helps. There was a another poker game tonight, but only 4 people had shown up by start time. I have got the $335 payment down to $194. And my sister said she was going to be able to contribute some as well. She will probably contribute $100 so I will need to come up with $94. Alot better than $335.

Thanks to FT I decided to call a place in town that rents tuxedos and takes pictures. They do senior pictures!! They have a package with what we need in it for $150. I am so excited! The good part is that I am not on any timeframe. I can wait until I get the money to have it done.

I realized yesterday looking at my budget that my expenses are far outweighing what I make. I don't know when or how that happened. I used to have money for the grocery store and entertainment. I guess that since I have become so intent on paying off my debt that I am overextending myself. But wait, that is only $100 per pay period. Come august, I am $700 short of my budget. I don't think that just the $100 debt payment per paycheck caused that. That only accounts for $300 of it. When I moved the only bill that I added was a water bill for $70 a month. Don't think that caused it. It could be the cheer payments, but I am doing the fundraising thing and haven't had to make a full payment yet! I guess all of these things added together could have caused it, but I am not willing to compromise. I have to find a way to make more money. I hope the applications I filed yesterday yields a call soon! I am desperate to stop having to take money from my parents.

My daughter went to the county fair Wed and Thur night. She wanted to go again tonight. She made money babysitting yesterday. But my mom told her that going three times is just non sense and she needed to give me money toward her cheer. DD decided not to go to the fair and to give me the money she would have spent to go toward her cheer. She has now pur $35 toward her cheer payment. $15 more to go until she gets to the $50 I told her she would have to come up.

I submitted applications to the two grocery stores that are in my area. Hopefully they will be hiring and I can start making some extra money. I plan on throwing most of the extra money to my credit card debt. I also filled out an application for Dollar General and I will drop it off on the way home tonight. I am excited. The thought of having that extra money each month is just making me giddy! I just hope they don't look at my resume and think I am over qualified. I am over qualified for what I am applying for, but for a second job, it is fine. I might even go to the home depot site and apply for there. Wish me luck that someone is hiring right now!

We received the proofs for my son's senior pictures. I had no idea they would be so expensive! The package we need is $379!! Unbelievable! I about when into shock when I saw that. I think my heart quit beating for a minute. I definately didn't plan on that for my budget. They fortunately have a payment plan where you can break it up into 3 payments, which will make it a little bit easier to swallow.

The exterminator came this morning to give me an estimate on getting rid of the fleas. $139. That includes the initial treatment plus a follow up 10 days later to get the eggs that hatched. That price is alot better than I though it would be. But I still didn't have that worked into my budget either. So I have had to make some changes to the budget.

Due to the changes, I am thinking about cashing in my vacation time. I need it to make ends meet next Friday. It would be an extra $650, which is almost exactly how much I am short. The second job idea is looking better and better. I think my parents are going to help me out some next month as well. They are already taking my DD to the dermatoligist(?) to get a wart removed. We have tried the over the counter stuff and it just came back. It is a wierd wart in that it is shaped like a mushroom and keeps getting caught on her clothes. So I don't know how much they will have left to help me. But I refuse to stress about it. That just leads to anxiety and I already have enough of that.

My sister gave me her treadmill. It a commercial treadmill that weighs like 300#. It took 4 teenage boys and taking it apart to get it in the house. It is currently parked in the living room where I think it is going to stay. I have walked on it every day since we got it. I built up to 30 minutes last night. It would be easier if I could see the tv, but unfortunately I can't see over the console! I might end up moving the tv so I can see it. Then I might want to walk longer. I am not walking very fast, but I have to build up my tolerance. At least I am walking. It was a mile yesterday.

We have poker run this weekend to benefit my dd cheerleading. I hope we make lots of money! I could sure use it toward the payment that is due on the 15th of July. Right now it is $335 due. I don't know if my sisters will be able to contribute or not. That is almost exactly how much I am short for the 20th of July. I have already told dd she has to contribute to it this month.

I have spent $46.24 already this morning and it is only 10:00!! I filled up my gas tank for $41 and I got breakfast for 5.24. I have allotted for both in my budget. I set aside $250 every pay period(every other week) for gas and $150 for misc spending. I am almost to the end of my $150 and it is only 3 days into the two weeks. I went to the grocery store, which killed my spending money. I will make it though.

I have walked on the treadmill for the last two days. My plan was to watch tv while I walked, but unfortunately, the treadmill is a commercial treadmill with a huge console that my short self can't see over!! So I can listen to the tv, but I can't watch it! LOL! I am up to 20 minutes now. I took hamburger meat out for dinner to make manwich with. I will go home and make it then come back to ellijay to pick the kids up at 9:00. It is about a 25 minute drive, but there really isn't anything to do until 9! I am trying to change my schedule to work 12:30 - 8:30 on Tuesdays. That would really help alot!

I am thinking about getting a 2nd job at a grocery store or something. I am available Wed - Sun. It would be used strictly for debt payment. I could knock out my credit cards within 3 months! My only concern is that I plan on taking some college course in the fall and I am not sure how much time I would have. But I would rather be busy than like I am now, with too much time spent on the couch.

My son and I had a long talk yesterday on the way to pick up my DD. He told me that I am starting to remind him of my sister. It came as a total shock that he would say that, but I can see it too. My sister has some severe emotional problems, but if you ask her she is fine. She should be featured on that hoarding show. She has a very nice condo that is completely full of boxes from when she moved in. There is simply a path from the front door to her bedroom, where she spends all of her time. Since the boxes have been there for about 4 years, they gave gathered mail and other things that don't belong. It is a total mess. She is also quite overwieght, which is why she is on oxygen all the time. Her body can't support her weight. When my son said this, I did see some similiarities that I had overlooked. I have gained 50 pounds over the last few months to become the heaviest I have ever been. I was alreay overweight to begin with. This is something that has bothered me all along. There are boxes in my bedroom that I haven't unpacked from our move back in April. The house isn't getting cleaned like it should. On the weekends, I just sit around and watch tv. If I could stay in bed all day, I would.

Since my son pointed these items out to me yesterday, I have decided to change back to the person I used to be. I am going toget the boxes in my room unpacked and get it cleaned up. I walked on the treadmill last night for 15 minutes. Will slowly build that up to more. We actually ate dinner last night as a family, the first time in a long time that I have cooked instead of getting fast food. My son offered to walk around downtown with me once a week and to help me with dinners. The thing about dinners is that we are rarely home in time to make a good dinner. But I am going to try.

I don't want to end up like my sister. She never leaves her house that you can barely walk through. I am going to try to change.

Today was a NSD. It helps when you don't leave the house! I was thinking about going to get something to eat, but decided to eat Chili Cheese Fries instead. Thought I might not have enough cheese, but I did! I am so glad, I didn't have to get dressed and go to the store! I was also tempted to go get an ice cream, but I resisted that temptation as well.

I started out the day with $1235 in my checking account and now it is down to $121.86. Kind of depressing. In actually there is $500 in there, but I have already deducted the amounts budgeted for gas and spending money. By deducting the amounts, it keeps me from overspending because my brain thinks there is less money in the account.

My mom said that she would probably be able to help me next month with my shortfalls in the budget. That would be a relief. I would love to cash in a week of my vacation, but it just isn't a good time at work to do that.

I have made a decision about dept repayment. I am going to throw at least $100 per paycheck at debt. That is $200 per month(except for July which has 3 paydays). I know that is not alot, compared to what some of you throw toward debt, but it is all I can spare right now. I also decided that once Chadwicks is paid off(2 more payments...yippee!!), I will start paying toward the property taxes. The taxes seem to get forgotten so I entered them into my quicken so I can remember them. Making my first payment to them in July. I really can't wait to pay off this debt. Wish I had been this serious about it long ago.

I am obsessed with my budget. I know that could not necessarily be a bad thing, but in my case I think it is. I stare at my budget/check register for long periods of time during the day when I am supposed to be working. But when I get this obsessed with the budget is when I seem to do the best with sticking to it. Just wish I wasn't as obsessed with it. Need to get some work done!

My sister delivered the treadmill to me yesterday. Now we just gotta get it in the house. It is a NordicTrack commercial treadmill so it is very heavy! My teenage son and his friends have been assigned the task of getting it in the house.

The war on fleas continues. We have never had any problem with fleas before but this year has been horrible! I did 3 bombs in the house but I don't think they worked very well. And the frontline I put on the cats doesn't seem to be working either. I am almost at my wits end!

I can't wait until Payday on Friday. I am running on fumes this week, literally. I need gas and I am not sure how I am going to get it. I will have to transfer money out of my savings account(which has a whoping balance of $36) in order to get gas to last until Friday. But I should be able to put it back on Friday. My budget for this pay period looks good. The Budget for my next pay period...not so good. I am short about $400. I would like to cash in some of my vacation, but my company isn't in a position to allow that right now. So as it gets closer, I will figure something out. I always do.

I am making an extra payment to the chadwicks card this payday of $109. I know it is an odd amount, but it is the snowball amount. This will be the third payment this month. 2 more payments after this one and it will be paid off! I can't wait! Then I will move on to the next credit card. I definately think it was a smart idea to pay off the ones that have been closed...therefore I can't charge them back up,, like I was with the open visa card. I would make extra payments and then have to use the card for gas or something. This way, I have to figure something else out, and I always do.

Although July is a 3-paycheck month, I am not going to see much relief. I have my budget planned through July and although the Chadwicks card will be paid off, there isn't much wiggle room. I am hoping that my sisters will be able to help with some of the cheerleading costs. We are doing a fundraiser the 26th of June that will go toward the expenses. I just hope we make alot of money! We have had alot of donations so hopefully any money we make will go straight to our accounts.

I made an additional credit card payment today to my Chadwicks card. The balance on it is $321. I will make another $100 payment June 18 and pay another $200 next month. It will be paid off by the end of June. I am so excited. I am attempting to pay an additional $200 each month toward my credit card debt. It hasn't been easy to squeeze it in. When I am adjusting my budget(which I always seem to be doing) I don't sacrifice the debt payment. I make adjustments to other areas. I am proud that I have been able to do that. It will be the first credit card I have paid off.

In other news, I have semi-quit smoking. I am leaving my cigarettes at work so the only time I have access to them in during the day. I only smoked 3 cigarettes yesterday. Eventually I hope to quit all together.