This is not financial related...sort of.
I had to go give DH gas last night since he didn't have enough to make it home. I told him only to get enough to get home, as I don't have money to give him for gas. I can't continue to do that. He is paying to go to work...his gas is costing him more than he is making!
Anyway, this morning, he packed up some clothes and said that he would be back either tomorrow night or Saturday morning. I said ok. Then as he was reaching down to kiss me, he said that gives you more time to play your game. I was half asleep and I said what game? He immediately stood up w/o kissing me and stormed out of the house, slamming the bedroom door and the back door. WTF??? He sent me a text message that says "I hope it was worth it". I don't know what that means. The only thing I can figure is that I didn't give him gas money. But we have talked about this. He is making less than he is spending getting there. I can't continue to give him gas money.
Rewind to about a year ago. I came home and he had moved out. No clue. No warning. Just taken all of his stuff and was gone. I had done something the night before that he thought was taking advantage of him. But He doesn't talk to me. So I don't know if I will come home tonight or tomorrow to a semi-empty house or not. I just don't know what to expect.
But I know I can't continue. I need help. Not just financially.
Don't know what to expect
July 9th, 2009 at 03:55 pm
July 9th, 2009 at 05:35 pm 1247157301
July 9th, 2009 at 07:45 pm 1247165135
July 9th, 2009 at 08:00 pm 1247166024
DH just sent me a text that he found a paddle boat. Like nothing happened this morning.
"i found a paddle boat"
"are you talking to me now?"(he didn't answer any of my texts this morning)
"I just thought you might be excited, but as usual you don't care what happens. So forget I said anything"
"You left in a huff this morning, sent me that text(which I still don't know what that means) and expect me to get excited about a paddle boat?"
He hasn't answered yet. I just don't know what is going on with him and he won't tell me! Does that mean that I don't care that he doesn't have gas to come home? That I just accepted the fact that he was going to have to stay there tonight? He made it there somehow without any gas money from me.
July 10th, 2009 at 07:37 am 1247207842
July 10th, 2009 at 02:10 pm 1247231412
And what's made it worse is that he won't talk to you about it.
Please, please press the issue. But softly and gently. He's stressed out enough as it is.
I don't know what financial situation you two are in, but if you're having enough trouble keeping gas in the car, a paddle boat seem rather inappropriate right about now.
Anyway, please take care. Again, please press, but gently. Coax him into talking, even if nothing is resolved. At least it will relieve some of that stress by talking about it.
July 10th, 2009 at 07:48 pm 1247251726
Having said that after things calm down you need to have a talk and "set your boundaries". Tell him calmly that this behavior hurts you and that you will not tolerate it, and ask him how he thinks you guys can make things better.He has to be willing to play his part and be a partner.
You husband sounds a whole lot like my first fiance, and thank goodness we parted ways, worked out much better that way. But he acted out in almost identical ways, mostly because he was pretty insecure, although you wouldn't know it from how macho he tried to act to cover that fact up.
Good luck to you, and I hope I'm not being too forward.
July 10th, 2009 at 08:10 pm 1247253034