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Need Advise

May 13th, 2016 at 07:20 pm

I need some advise. I took this week off of my second job. I realized how burnt out I really am. I am afraid that I don't think I can continue to do this and take care of my mom and sister. With this in mind, I worked out my budget through mid Aug without this income. By reducing the amount I pay on the LOC(still paying over the minimum but not as much as I do now) it is very tight but doable, if I get my ex dh to commit to paying toward DD rent each month(he hasn't missed a month yet so I don't think it will be a problem). There is also a possible scenario that goes like this...I am paying $250 a month on medical bills for DD. The balance is just over 2k. I could take out the money from the LOC and pay that off and have that additional money each month. The thing that I am worried about is that if I find I can't live without this income, I won't get such a sweet position that works so well with my first job again. So if I make this decision, it will be a final decision.

It is times like this that I miss my dad. He would know what to do. And he would support me no matter what.

10 Responses to “Need Advise”

  1. VS_ozgirl Says:

    It's very hard but sometimes you just have to do what's best for your health. You're not a machine so you shouldn't be burning yourself out long term. I'd say if you were going to stay at your job, put a time limit on it - eg you will only stay until DD's medical debt is paid off for example. Good luck.

  2. Nutria Says:

    The thing that I am worried about
    Fear is the mind killer. Animals give into their fear, but humans overcome it.

    such a sweet position that works so well with my first job again.
    1. Have you spoken to the supervisor about fewer hours? Or 3 weeks "on" and 1 week "off"? IOW, more flexible hours. Maybe you have, but haven't told us.

    2. You found one sweet position; you can find another.

    my dad. He would know what to do.
    That's not very feminist!!!

  3. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    Sometimes you find the greatest truth from your parents. I find that I bounce a lot of ideas off my mom and dad.

  4. Carol Says:

    I hope you can find someone to talk this over with. I think your own well being (health, but also financial) needs to be your first priority. Not in a selfish way, but in a " put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on someone else" way.)

    So maybe this means putting boundaries on helping your sister( ex. You can do an errand for her when you are doing one for yourself-- not a day you worked 2 jobs) . Are there services that could help your mom? Can your daughter help her aunt? I'm sorry your dad is not there for advice anymore. Best of luck to you!

  5. rob62521 Says:

    Has resting helped you think through things? Is there anyone else who can help out with the family members? Please take care of yourself.

  6. LuckyRobin Says:

    I think it would be a good idea if you asked your sister to consolidate her needs into one day of the week, a day that is good for you. You could still help her, but on a set schedule. Anything else (short of a doctor appt) would have to wait until the following week.

    I would stay with the part time job until the medical is paid off, then see where you are and how you feel. Sometimes we just get overwhelmed for a while and then it passes. With your debt history, I'd really hesitate to add more the line of credit, because that could rapidly become a bad habit.

  7. greenleaf Says:

    Agree with Lucky Robin- if you do want to quit, I would make it a goal to do so after the medical bill is gone rather than adding that debt to your LOC. Sometimes having an end in sight can make things more bearable. Also, could your daughter help contribute more to either her own rent/medical costs or helping your sister (who is contributing to her rent)? I don't mean to the point her education suffers, but a lot of students do work-study programs to contribute to their room and board costs.

  8. ceejay74 Says:

    Only you will know if your overworking is getting dangerous for your health, but you should also consider that you just promised your mom you won't quit the second job and you'll put 50% of income from the second job in your 401k. Will she think you were being deceptive and always planned to quit soon after she cosigned your loan? I don't know if that would strain your relationship at all.

  9. North Georgia Gal Says:

    Thank you guys for all the things to consider. I knew you guys would help me figure this out. Especially ceejay...you brought that promise back into my mind. I will keep the job for as long as I physically can which should be a while.

  10. LuckyRobin Says:

    I forgot about the 50% to the 401K. I'd pay off the medical debt first before contributing so much to the 401K. Maybe just do 10% to the 401K until the medical debt is gone, then bump it back up.

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