I am having a pitiful me day. I broke down and asked my mom to help me get the mortgage caught up. I told her that I would pay her $50 a payday to get it paid back but she told me to put that money toward DD insurance. I just feel like a total failure that I can't take care of myself and have to rely on my retired mom whose income was cut in half when my dad died. Don't get me wrong I am grateful for everything she does for me. I just wish that I was able to contribute to my own well being more.
It seems that every year around this time is when I hit rock bottom. Not sure what it is about fall...maybe I have just scraped by barely keeping my head above water and the fall is when it catches up with me.
Feeling pretty Worthless
October 5th, 2012 at 04:18 pm
October 5th, 2012 at 04:24 pm 1349454295
October 5th, 2012 at 04:59 pm 1349456382
Wish you the best!
October 5th, 2012 at 05:06 pm 1349456804
October 5th, 2012 at 05:25 pm 1349457948
Perhaps seasonal gig with UPS (I've heard they pay well and have temporary after hours shifts during holiday season). If you build up a cash cushion in a month or two, it may reduce your stress greatly.
October 5th, 2012 at 05:29 pm 1349458163
October 5th, 2012 at 05:46 pm 1349459207
DH has a 90 mile a day commute -- about 2.5 hours a day driving due to traffic on the way back to NYC (luckily he is allowed to work 6 days a month from home) and I have about an hour each way by train. It is pretty normal for NYC. But I know it would not be even considered by people who live in small towns. But if the money is good enough, might be worth it.
It is the best compromise we could find between decent paying jobs and a decent location.
October 5th, 2012 at 06:24 pm 1349461442
October 5th, 2012 at 09:15 pm 1349471709
Would it help to look at where you've been? No more nasty phone calls, no more threats to disconnect utilities and frights.
October 5th, 2012 at 09:31 pm 1349472716
My dad gifted me $100 per month for about two years to help me pay my student loans when I first got out on my own. He loaned me $12,000 to purchase my home and buy furniture, and it took me years to pay it all back -- there were entire year-long stretches when I couldn't afford to give ANY back. He still occasionally pays for me to come visit or go to family reunions -- airfare, car rental, hotel.
Thinking about my girls (who are just babies right now), I wouldn't let them just freeload as adults and not even try to get independent of me. But if they were honestly trying, and struggling, I'd do anything in my power to make sure they didn't suffer.
Plus, I've seen on your blog how much you give in time and effort to your sister, your kids, your mom. You're NOT a selfish person, and your mom knows that.
Now take a deep breath, and forgive yourself, not only for the things you should be able to control, but for the things you have no way of controlling (payscale in your area, lack of part-time opportunities).
Then, try to think of a free or nearly free way to reward yourself for trying so damn hard. Long hot bubble bath? Movie & popcorn on the couch in your PJs? Drive to your favorite scenic area? You definitely deserve it!
October 5th, 2012 at 09:45 pm 1349473553
October 5th, 2012 at 10:21 pm 1349475689
October 5th, 2012 at 10:45 pm 1349477141
October 5th, 2012 at 11:14 pm 1349478863
October 6th, 2012 at 12:59 pm 1349528351
October 8th, 2012 at 03:14 am 1349666068
October 9th, 2012 at 04:21 am 1349756475
October 9th, 2012 at 07:09 pm 1349809778
October 15th, 2012 at 09:21 am 1350292905
Jerry
October 19th, 2012 at 01:44 am 1350611089
October 20th, 2012 at 06:21 pm 1350757307
October 25th, 2012 at 09:33 pm 1351200810
October 27th, 2012 at 09:57 pm 1351375077
October 28th, 2012 at 09:22 am 1351416132
October 31st, 2012 at 05:37 pm 1351705030