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Why do I do the things I do????

July 9th, 2010 at 07:29 am

I took my daughter and her 2 friends out to Mexican last night. I knew that the money in my account was allotted to other things, but I did it anyway. Now I am going to have to borrow money from my son. Why do I do that? I tell myself that it is an important day(birthday). I usually hate myself for doing it, but I am helpless to stop myself from doing it. What is wrong with me? I throw my whole budget out of whack by doing stupid things like that. I figured up my cini-mini addiction. I spend $100 per month on these things. That is outrageous! That is my cable bill. I really need to break that addiction. My therapist and I are working on that. But that doesn't help me feel any better right now.

12 Responses to “Why do I do the things I do????”

  1. momcents Says:


    We've all been there, done that. I was guilty of an un-needed impulse purchase (justifited it by saying 'I'm worth it', but of course it really stemmed from low self esteem comparing myself to other people) and it went back. Can you be a cash-only basis? That would help bring a level of accountability to the spending. We had to do that. First it was: Let's use the credit card because we get lots of points back. The plan was to weekly transfer the spent funds - that didn't last long. Then we stopped using the cards. Then with the debit card, it was: Well, we still will get points on the purchase, just not as many. BUT we still spent from other categories. Cash has been annoying, but it does LIMIT what can be spent. I've adjusted well - and it has also helped mainstream the amount of errands. Good luck! Don't feel too bad about. Try another system to alleviate the problem.

  2. davera Says:

    Yikes. I just looked at the nutritional content of 4 cini-minis from Burger King. 430 calories and 23 grams of fat. Not good. Do take care of yourself and find a better breakfast alternative that can satisfy the cinnamon bun cravings in a healthier way.
    And good for you for posting so honestly on your blog. We're all rooting for you!!
    http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-burger-king-cini-mini...

  3. Jaon.of.the.Arch Says:

    Is it a matter of not being able to say no to requests from your daughter? Is that what you need to work on? 'cause I thought you'd already given her a big present, cake, etc.... Maybe you could tell your son not to loan you money after this time, no matter how much you ask. That might be one part of the system change you could make.

  4. north georgia gal Says:

    WOW! I had never looked at the nutrional value. And sense I eat two orders every morning, double that! No wonder I haven't lost any weight. I an eating 46 grams of fat! Just for Breakfast! Between that and the amount of $$ spent each month, it should be enough to break the addiction. But probably not. I just feel so helpless. I used to get so upset with people who didn't have the willpower to change things. Now I am one of those people.

    Joan, It was my idea to go out to dinner, not my daughters. They do this birthday thing where you get to wear the big sombrero while they sing happy birthday. It was more me wanting her to experience it.

  5. creditcardfree Says:

    The best thing you can do for your children is to model wise spending choices. In this case, making dinner at home for her birthday because it is less expensive. As you already know, you don't have the money for a restaurant meal. Stick to the plan and find creative and frugal ways to celebrate! We'll help you out if you need ideas. Smile

  6. Looking Forward Says:

    North Georgia Gal - YOU TOTALLY have the power to drive right by BK and not get any of those high fat high cost 'cini-minis'. Don't you dare say you can't! You can do it - I believe you can!
    And figure out a way to reward your self as you drive by. Maybe an envelope in your car you can put the saved money into. Or bite into a cinnamon roll you made at home and brought with you.
    Big Grin

  7. Jerry Says:

    Make stuff at home, get a sombrero at a second hand store, and decorate with stuff you have around the house... it will be even more fun if you work at it, and will lead you to save a ton of money. It just requires creativity, and I know you can do it! In addition, there are tons better options than those BK cinnamon bombs... and it will be a ton cheaper to make them, as well! All in all, these smaller decisions can act as insurance toward the things that will help to make you happier and more successful in the long run. Good luck!
    Jerry

  8. frugaltexan75 Says:

    I can understand the allure of the cini-minis. I very rarely do this (maybe once a year), but my favorite breakfast from BK is an egg and cheese croissant and an order of cini minis.

    Maybe a way you can break the addiction is to buy cini buns from the grocery store - the big ones, and either buy or make extra icing. Then cut them up into minis. Add up the cost of the ones from the store, and subtract it from the cost of BK's, and put it into a savings fund for something you really want that is frivolous. Or, cut costs even more by making them homemade. Or, tell yourself that if you skip BK x number of times in a week, on Saturday or Sunday, you get to enjoy a big decadent cin roll with tons of icing. Each week make it more difficult to obtain.

  9. dtjunkie Says:

    Nothing too helpful to say except....I do the same EXACT things! All we can do is fight every "urge to splurge".

  10. Digging out of the hole Says:

    I think we all do this in one way or the other. I've been struggling with my husband spending because now he's employed. After a good talk and me showing him some numbers, he's eased back.

    I do know, while dealing with the stress before we filed BK and even before we closed DH's business, I turned to food. The only thing that made me feel good was being full. And this is a feeling that goes back to childhood - what do you do to stop a baby from crying? Feed it! So feeling full and content is something we've learned from early on. Full and content seem to go together. As a result, I put on 40+ pounds. I'm now working to get the weight off, but it's very difficult.

    I now realize that the food was also the thing I could control, and the only thing I could control, so I made sure I had a plentiful amount. Everything else was crumbling around me...food was still there. What a great friend food is...until you realize you have an issue with eating too much!

    I think your cini-bun "addiction" is that same kind of issue. This is something you like, you can have, so you do. It's the one thing you can control. $100 a month? Well, yes. It's a lot of cash and would also pay my cable bill. However, I'm confident that you, like me, will be able to get control over the food thing once all the other things fall into place.

    The concern I have is that you are taking money from Paul (your son) to pay Peter (your bills) because you chose to go out to eat. And it sounds like you may do that more frequently than once in a while?

    Do you give yourself an allowance each week? If you gave yourself $20-$25 a week to spend on whatever you wanted (including kids out to eat, cini-buns, nail polish, etc.), do you think that would keep you from taking money from the bill money? Plus it would lessen the guilt feeling you get after spending. But - you have to make a vow to yourself that you won't spend more than your allowance on these "splurgy" things.

  11. north georgia gal Says:

    Thank you guys for your support and suggestions! It means alot to me that I can post what I am feeling and get ideas and support instead of criticism and negative comments.

  12. Nika Says:

    I know, favorite foods can be a hard addiction to break.

    My solution has been to learn to cook that food or lightly adjusted healthier version at home, from scratch. Whatever I make will always come out to be more healthy and delicious -- truly fresh, hot - not reheated, no preservatives, and I won't use sub-standard ingredients, or re-use oil, or put a stick of butter into it...

    And since it takes more effort to make it, I don't have it as often, it is more special, not consumed thoughtlessly, but savored. And I don't feel deprived since I don't "forbid" myself to have it.

    From health point of view:
    7g x3= more than the ENTIRE daily recommended amount of saturated fat.
    39g x3 = 117 grams of sugar

    Oh, but I know it can be hard. My weakness is croissants. Cannot be treated with my home cooking substitution strategy -- unlike everything else, they are just too labor intensive to make at home.

    Luckily, I know only one bakery that really makes them well, and they are only up to my standard within half an hour of coming out of the oven -- the people in the bakery know me and always get me a hot one off the rack, but I have to be there at the correct time. So I don't have access to them every day.

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