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The Tire Search Update

October 23rd, 2009 at 01:06 am

Well...I couldn't find any tires. My mom called me last night and told me that they would buy me the 4 tires. I am not happy about it. Then I found out today that they had to pay my sisters power bill because it had been cut off. Long story, but she is a hypocondriac nurse...the worst combination possible. She is on disablity right now because she had carpral tunnel surgery. But she has never managed her money well. She also asked my parents to put hearing aids on their credit card a few years ago, which she never paid for and I don't think she uses. We are probably goiong to have to move her real soon as she is probably going to lose her condo(the third house she has been foreclosed on). So once I found out they had to pay her power bill, I told my mom that I was going to wait on the tires. That I just have to believe that things are going to be okay. She pulled the mom/grandma card again. She said that I don't have a choice. They are getting them because I tote their "favorite spoiled granddaughter" around. I feel really bad about taking the money for the tires. But I am not sure what else to do. I am really nervous on the ones I have and it would bring some peace of mind.

In other news...I think DH may be moving out. He has threatened it several times over the last few months. But this time I think I finally have the courage to tell him that he needs to. He rarely contributes financially and he expects me to take care of his debts with no additional income. I can't depend on him to do things that need to be done. And I am tired of being told I am a liar. He constantly tries to make feel like I am doing something wrong because I don't tell him every stop during the day. For instance...Saturday morning, DD had to be in a parade. We had to be there at 9:30. at 7:45 my ex husband sent me a text asking if I could meet him in the next town to pick up the banners for the float. I knew nothing about the banners, had no idea he was even doing the banners. The cheer coach had been talking to him directly. So we met him and still managed to make it to the parade. But because I forgot to tell him that we went to meet him, I am hiding things. And I am lying about knowing that ex was doing the banners...He said that he asked me several times to see what I would say. I honestly forgot that I went to meet him. When we were there, we got donuts at Kroger. Since we don't have a kroger, I wouldn't have left the donut boxes on the counter if I was trying to hide that I went! I feel like I am a child who is supposed to report my every movement. He has a real problem with plans changing. he doesn't adapt well. Anyone with kids knows that plans constantly change!!!

Anyway...sorry to rant. Just feeling kind of blue still.

4 Responses to “The Tire Search Update”

  1. kat Says:
    1256299576

    I am so sorry about your DH. I was in a similiar situation for 15 years. I finally decided enough already. My DH was also very financially irresponsible and did nothing around the home. I woke up one day and realized that if I had to do it on my own then I would be on my own. My stress level went down immediatly when he moved out and I'm happier now that I have been in years. Like you, I have a great supportive family which has made all the difference. You too will be fine - great even! You sound like a hard worker with ambition to improve your financial situation. Honestly, he is only holding you back. Please forgive me for speaking so candidly but I have followed your blog for a while and I really enjoy it. I'm rooting for you. If he wants to go, let him. You are a strong woman! You can do this! Best of Luck.

  2. Petunia Says:
    1256302560

    Sounds like your DH has some issues. It's been a real challenge in my life not to make my DH's problems into my problems. You can only give a person so much help; then they have to decide that they are going to help themselves. If they never get there - we do them no favors by trying to solve their problems for them. Good luck with your DH and your tires.

  3. north georgia gal Says:
    1256302636

    Thanks Kat! I appreciate your kind words. I have known that I would be better emotionally if he were to leave, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell him to leave. And you are right...if I am doing everything myself, I might as well be by myself. I think my mental situation will change as well.

  4. north georgia gal Says:
    1256302811

    Petunia..You are definately right. When we first married, I tried to fix things for him. Tried to make sure the things he needed to pay were paid. But then I realized that he wasn't contributing to help make those payments. I was close to a breakdown. So I quit. And that is when the problems started. Recently I have come to realize that I can't depend on him if I were to get sick or something. I would end up losing everything because he wouldn't pay anything! We are not working together as partners should.

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